It is so tempting to wait to share my work. I want it to look exactly as it does in my mind, so that you too can see what I see. But, life does not always work that way.

It’s a work in progress.

So today, I’m letting you into my sketch book, where I am fleshing out what my mind is wrestling with. Because I don’t want to miss out on conversation that could happen today. I want to be able to offer encouragement, even ifthrough imperfect mediums. 

So welcome to my imperfect mind. I hope you can relate. 

For some time now, I have been asking for ‘the mind of Christ’. Scripture promises this to those who call upon Jesus to save them. But often, it seems so far from me.

I am tormented by indecisiveness and uncertainty . Lust for sin, fear, envy and general oppression. The fight for control over my thoughts is a daily war, sometimes hourly. I often retreat to solitude places where I can take a deep breath and not allow my surroundings to dictate the thoughts in my mind. Or, more often than I’d like to admit, I will turn to meaningless things to distract me so I don’t have to deal with it at all.

Being a visual person, I have found that my mind reacts to what I see, often involuntarily. I have come to believe that this is why scripture is reassuring me to believe that I have the mind of Christ. Not because it becomes naturally to me, but because I must proclaim it over and over in order for the battleground to be reclaimed from the present darkness.

My prayer for those who view this piece is that they too can be reminded that their mind has been fought for, and won. Not by a passive victor, but by one who gave all. Submitting through pain and suffering and torment that we presently face so that we can claim FREEDOM over what otherwise would enslave us. The cross means freedom in my mind. 

He invites us to partake in the fight, but protects us by having already won it.

Oh friend, don’t let your heart be troubled, for light has come into the world, and darkness will not overcome it.

Here’s to walking through the process together, and trusting that the work will be complete to its fullest perfection in time.

Before I had a baby, I knew I wanted my kids to be welcomed into my workspace. My husband and I would dream about the businesses we wanted to have- the creativity we wanted to use to impact the world around us. We wanted show our kids that hard work is something to be enjoyed.

Izzy is my daughter. She’s the best. 

The desire to have a little buddy alongside me to work hard with has become a reality. And I am so grateful. 

She really loves music (the little heart melter nods along to the beat of some my favorite jams), and she loves sitting at my feet while I work.

But she also needs my attention, so art making with her has pushed me to become more organized, and to be okay with projects taking little longer. This looks like me waking up early to get going before she’s up, taking breaks to play, jamming with headphones instead of blaring music, and getting the bulk of the work done during nap times, or when she is at her Grandma’s house. 

The reality is, we take it one day at a time. And I log time as I work.

The hardest part- feeling guilty for working while she’s awake. And being unsure of what the ‘right way’ to parent is…

Not a clue. 

But I adore my kid, and I love working with her by my side.

I don’t think I am the only Christian that battles depression. In fact I bet a lot of us do.
When I think about it, I bet Jesus fought it off too.
But what do I know.

I’ve been wrestling with it for 5 years now.
My doctor once joked that Evangelical Christian Women are the hardest to help with it. Because we think as Christians we should have a handle on it.

But let me be the first to tell you- we don’t. (Well, I don't.)

A few months ago, I laid in bed angry, thinking;
‘Why is life so HARD? What is the point of it all?’

Here is where I would typically spiral downward into some pretty intense negative thoughts. Or habits to try and numb myself out. To ignore where I know these thoughts are headed. So I don’t have to feel so upset and confused.

But not this time.
This time I face the thoughts. Let them continue. I allow the conversation in my head to carry on.

‘I claim to be a Christian. But I don’t know what I’m doing, what my purpose is, or why I feel so empty all the time. I chase materials, success, gluttony, anger, pride... 
Does it matter if I live or die?
What’s the point?

Silence...
Then it hit me.

I claim to believe in Jesus. I tell other people that He loves them, that He is all they need, that He is trustworthy, that He is satisfying...
Because somewhere inside I really truly believe it.

And at the end of all the questions, the only thing I feel my heart truly believe is that God exists. And I think He’s nice.

I fall asleep.


My Great- Grandmother (Mamaw) had a portrait of Jesus over her couch growing up. She was the best example of a Christian I have known or hoped to be.
Portraits of Jesus have always been strange to me. Because I don’t really know what He looks like. And to be honest, I doubt that he was this white guy with long flowing hair. But, when Mamaw prayed, you could tell she knew who she was talking to. She told me once that she would picture Jesus sitting in the chair beside her. 

I want that.

I started wondering, if that's why she had the painting in the center of her house. What it symbolized.
It symbolized that choosing to make him the center of everything. To plant Him right in front of your face to remind yourself of the promises.
That He Is satisfying. That He is the Answer. That He is All I need.

For desperate hearts to be reminded that He is there. 

Clear vision of Him makes everything else fade away. Not easier. Not non existent. Not painless.

He did say after all ‘in this world You Will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world’.


So I made this painting. My Jesus. I hung it at the end of my bed. So every day when I wake up, or every time I crawl in bed overwhelmed. I’m reminded.

People talk about Love Languages a lot- gift giving has always been my number one. (Sorry for all the puppy figurines Nana). When I discovered art-making, it changed my world. I started making paintings for people as a means of communicating love. A gift from my heart to them, that's why I sign everything 'Luvleigh'. 

The ‘journal’ section of my site is meant to continue the gift giving, and to hopefully encourage anyone who stumbles upon it. I feel that it is important for me to be real with people- to share what I struggle with, and how I have seen Jesus help me overcome, or at least what He has taught me as He has been present with me in those moments.

Thank you for visiting my little site! Im grateful you are here. I hope you are left feeling little more loved after visiting.